Doctor! Doctor! Give me the news!

I’ve got a bad case of lovin’ misdiagnosin’ you.


Stephanie: My foot is hurting so much more than usual.
Rheumatologist: Let’s up your meds and throw a new one into the mix.
Stephanie: This feels different, though. Could we maybe do an x-ray?
Rheumatologist: No need for an x-ray. Increase the usual meds and start taking this new one, too. But stop by the lab on the way out so I can check your vitamin B-12 level.
Stephanie: What are you looking for with that test?
Rheumatologist: Your B-12 levels.
Stephanie: …
Rheumatologist: …
Stephanie: Could I get an x-ray, just in case?
Rheumatologist: No need. Stop by the labs on the way out. *squeezes shoulder* It’s not like you’re dying, honey.
Stephanie mumbles to self: Dickhead. Dickhead. I fucking hate you.


Stephanie: I am experiencing severe pain in my left foot.
Urgent Care Doctor: Are you currently under the care of any other doctors?
Stephanie: Just a general practitioner and…and…*drops head and mumbles* a rheumatologist.
Urgent Care Doctor: You’ll need to see your rheumatologist.
Stephanie: *actually started crying here…silently* please help me. Please.
Urgent Care Doctor: *squeezes the shit out of foot and pokes around* You just have a deep callus in this foot, and it’s pushing on your bone.
Stephanie: Really? I haven’t felt anything! But this is great news! What do I do?
Urgent Care Doctor: Soak in epsom salt and grind it with pumice.
Stephanie: Could we please take an x-ray? Just in case?
Urgent Care Doctor: It’s a callus.


Stephanie: I have severe pain in my left foot. I need an x-ray.
Podiatrist: *pokes around* Does that hurt?
Stephanie: Yes. Yes, it hurts. And I’m having difficulties walking. I’m limping at work, and I need help. Can you do an x-ray?
Podiatrist: You don’t need an x-ray. It isn’t that swollen. Besides, you probably just have a pulled tendon. That won’t show on an x-ray.
Stephanie: Okay. I understand soft tissue problems won’t show…and maybe it’s my tendon. But can we please do an x-ray? I do pay my doctor bills. (Yeah, I was pretty upset and insistent this time. I must have said “I’ll pay whatever. Please. Please x-ray my foot” three or four times.)
Podiatrist: Nah. *runs his mouth incessantly talking about what a wonderful next-coming-of-Christ president Trump would be while trying to find the codes to fill out on my forms* I’m gonna give you this magic pill. (I swear to peanuts he said, “MAGIC.”)
Stephanie: *sighs and wipes tear off of face* What’s this magic pill?
Podiatrist: Oh it’s a prescription strength NSAID.
Stephanie: What for? I should tell you I take enough NSAID every day to kill entire villages.
Podiatrist: No problem. This is going to dissolve your problem.
Stephanie: It’s gonna dissolve my tendon??!?!!
Podiatrist: Just take this as prescribed and you’ll be kicking a football by tomorrow.
Stephanie: *whispers* I don’t think you understand how bad this is.
Podiatrist: There’s nothing wrong with your foot. (Yes, he said that.) Oh, hey! Don’t forget to support Trump! (That, too.)
Stephanie mumbles to self: Dickhead. Dickhead. I fucking hate you.
Stephanie: Do I need a follow-up for once the scrip is finished?
Podiatrist: Nope. I’m telling you, this pill is magic.
Stephanie rages in her head: I hope your clothes fall off and you trip, naked, and land dick-first in an ant bed. Filled with bullet ants. Douchepickle Asscanoe.


Stephanie: I have severe pain in my left foot. I’ve been to three doctors and have been unsatisfied with all of them. Can you help me? (I finally took ownership of my healthcare. Finally.)
Podiatrist #2: Tell me all of the details, start to finish.
Stephanie: *tells him all of the details, start to finish* I also added: Please do whatever you need to do and take whatever tests need to be taken. This pain has gotten unbearable, and nobody believes me.

Lots of poking and prodding commences. Bending my foot. Jabbing my foot. Scrunching my toes. All the while gauging the level of discomfort in my reactions.

Podiatrist #2: In everything you told me, you never mentioned an x-ray. Has anyone x-rayed this foot?
Stephanie: No one has taken an x-ray of my foot.
Podiatrist #2: *cocks head* Really?
Stephanie: No one.
Podiatrist #2: I want to take an x-ray. I don’t think the bones in your feet are straight.
Stephanie: *blinks. blinks then laughs* Seriously?

X-ray is taken, and I wait a whopping five minutes for him to come in and go over it with me.

Podiatrist #2: You have a stress fracture.
Stephanie: Are you serious?
Podiatrist #2: *points* See? You have what looks like an old break in the same spot. Is that right?
Stephanie: Yeah, but it was about eight years ago.
Podiatrist #2: This break looks like it happened at least several weeks ago and is already working on healing. See? *points and explains his reasoning* Had you recently changed your routines or footwear? Any high intensity workouts or anything that you felt stressed your joints?
Stephanie: You mean…you mean like spin classes where I stand on the pedal with improper footwear, causing my feet to wrap around the pedals?
Podiatrist #2: That’s exactly the kind of thing I mean.
Stephanie: And cardio kickboxing? And mountain hiking? (Y’all, I swear I’m not some superfit person. It’s the opposite – all of that was a brand new effort to get myself fit after a lifetime of living fat and out of shape. My body punished me for it. Bitch.)
Podiatrist #2: *laughs and laughs* Yeah. Okay. So what kind of footwear do you wear to work?
Stephanie: *points at shoes*
Podiatrist #2: That’s not what you’ve been wearing.
Stephanie: …
Podiatrist #2: Those aren’t great, but they’re not bad. And they’re also not old. What did you usually wear prior to these?
Stephanie: Converse. Every day. For years.
Podiatrist #2: They let you wear those? Nevermind. Look, I love Converse. I’d wear them exclusively if I could. But I can’t anymore. And neither can you.
Stephanie: *pouts*
Podiatrist #2: You see the way your metatarsals are deeply curved? *points at x-ray* That’s a birth defect, and it’s likely that your right foot is the same. If it had been caught when you were a baby, it could have possibly been corrected. But now, the best course of action is to wear proper inserts in proper shoes.

He goes through everything with me, in slow and careful detail. He waits patiently as I whip out my phone and make a bunch of notes so I won’t forget anything he’s told me.

Podiatrist #2: Look, I know this is going to be expensive – getting proper footwear and the inserts and the follow-up appointment. I know. But *points at x-ray again and points out all of the inflammation and thinning bones* you’re due for another break at any time. If you can afford it, fixing your footwear needs to take priority to try to prevent this from getting worse.

He talked me into a cortisone shot directly into my foot and OHMYEVERLOVINGFUCKTHATHURT. And he also told me that I may need surgery down the line because of a bonespur happening at that old/new break. But he said, “You do NOT want that surgery. So I’m beseeching you to work on your footwear. That may be all you need.”

He was fucking awesome. I thanked him profusely and was all smiles when I left. Yeah, I didn’t get great news. But you know what? He listened to me. He believed me. He poked and prodded until he had all of the information and answers he needed. And he identified the problem. He also said this could worsen my arthritis and connective tissue disease – and vice versa – but that we need to take one step at a time. (He only told me that because I asked him if and how this current problem could be related to my diagnoses.)

He wants to see me again in two weeks. A follow-up to see how the medicine and shot and shoes help. He also switched my scrip. He said, “I know Podiatrist #1 swears by this…..but (as nicely as possible) I want to give you something that I think is more effective.” He explained why and had me swear I wouldn’t take the two medications simultaneously. Seriously liked this doc.


Anyway. I have two main reasons for spilling all of this here:

  1. I needed to rant like a motherfucker
  2. To remind myself – AND you – to NOT give up on your health. Take care of yourself and whenever at all possible, get a second opinion. And a third. And a fourth. And don’t stop until you run out of money. And then, start a GoFundMe page or some shit. You only get one life, Stephanie. And you bloggers. You only get one body, Stephanie. And you bloggers. Take ownership of it.


P.S. I’m a fucking badass. Yeah, I said it. No broken foot gonna keep me down. I’ve been hobbling around for a couple months now, but I kept going.


42 thoughts on “Doctor! Doctor! Give me the news!

  1. This sounds exactly like my experience with doctors!!
    Then, I got one who was willing to order a brain scan, but she wasn’t a neurologist and when she sent the order the neurologist replied with “Nah, take these drugs, then try another if they don’t work, then if that doesn’t work I’ll look at it.”
    My dad also had cancer and the doctors were like “no no that bump is no big deal” until he finally argued with enough people and got it tested…. The story ends well because he’s cancer free now, but I hate to think what would have happened if he just believed the doctor and ignored it…
    I wish it wasn’t so hard to find a doctor who actually cares enough to run tests and investigate the problems we come in with….
    (The Trump supporter one was hilarious though, at least there’s a bit of humour in how ridiculous Trump and his fans are – just as long as he doesn’t win!)

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Ugh. THIS is why people are constantly saying, “I HATE doctors.” I’ve said it countless times. It’s always kickass when you finally land a good one, but it’s so hard to do that anymore. Especially when you’re outwardly passive like I am. Inside, I can rage and rage, but I don’t really let that part out much “in real life.”

      I’ve had headaches since I was little, and recently I’ve developed more neurological problems. My GP and rheumatologist keep mentioning seeing a neurologist…but every time I say, “uhm okay. Uhm. Well. Uhm. Could I get a referral?” It’s met with, “Nah, maybe not just yet. It’s probably nothing.” And maybe it IS nothing. But they’re just guessing, and it pisses me off so much. And yeah, the pill pushing!!!!! “Take this little pill and you’ll be right as rain.” Then why do I feel worse?!?!!

      I’m so sorry you’re going through the same things. What a royal pain in the ass. But I AM glad that your dad came out of his ordeals okay. Cancer is the devil.

      Dude…that Trump bastard had me in stitches…at first. Until he proved himself to be a fucking moron as a doctor as well as citizen. God, they’re the worst. If my luck influences the races at all, Trump will win. So let’s hope I have some good luck for once. ๐Ÿ˜‰


    1. Thank you!! I nearly gave up after every visit. I’d go home and rage and cry and rage and cry some more. I’d have to calm down for a few days before working up the willingness to call someone else. But I’m glad I kept at it, too. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hello BOSS…………

    Hope your foot feels better, missed you yesterday


    Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor. With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.

    After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, โ€œJust feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.โ€

    The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.

    โ€œGee, Mom,โ€ he exclaimed, โ€œfor me?โ€

    โ€œJust take two,โ€ Brenda replied. โ€œThe rest are for your father.โ€

    Liked by 3 people

  3. A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampaโ€ฆ
    โ€œThe material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.

    Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG.

    High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing thatโ€™s the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?โ€

    After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, โ€œWedding Cake.โ€

    Liked by 2 people

  4. The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex.

    Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact thefamilyโ€™s status, she consulted the family doctor.

    The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.

    Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the mother told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.

    The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother, saying,

    โ€œOh Mom! You don’t have to worry about that! I’m dating Susan!โ€

    Liked by 2 people

  5. While reading this I thought there is a good chance that what every doctor said was correct and that you had a new break, an old break, a stress fracture from the first two or splintering of the bones depending on location. You probably do have a callus as they do grow around broken bones, the treatment for that I would stick with. I am surprised Podiatrist number 2 did not mold your foot for an insert. I have been through a lot of stuff. My sister is finally getting some of what I had as a kid. She hurt her ankle at the point of insertion of her foot and shin. This led her alter her walking and the three way strain caused it to splinter and get a callus. Which caused her to change her gait even more. The pain shots do not work for everybody, nor do many meds. What you were not told to do but I figure you are doing this or should is elevating your foot above your heart when lying down and depending on how you work to elevate it somewhat. I have 3 times twisted my ankle so badly that I was told I would have been better breaking it. All three times it was swollen up to the size of a softball, no exaggeration. When I had to walk and let my foot down it fucking killed me. Twice this happened while in post season softball and qualifying for a national track meet. I continued to play softball but switched to being the catcher and I warmed up so much I was abla to run as I iced the shit out of it between innings. For the track meet I literally had to run in an air cast. I showed up 2 hours early hoping to loosen up. I couldn’t and I was running a race over hurdles and I was the defending champ. Mind you the doctors said not to do anything except R.I.C.E. method. Rest, ice, compression and elevation. I had multiple sprains throughout the bones in the area, partial tendon and ligament tears. Meds did nothing. R.I.C.E. only helped when lying down. Mind you I was coaching a team and had to be up. For my track meet I was limping so badly I had officials asking me if I was going to run like that. I said yup if I can walk I am running. Hurdles require a good stride and a stable amount of steps in between each hurdle. My competitors figured I had no chance, I was last early going into the wind. Then adrenaline kicked in and I went from last to first. I had a broken finger as well and the dr said I would never get more than 20% range of motion. Plus the finger was broke mid hand and it shot up like the titanic. He set it and was going to wrap one finger around the other I said hell no I will have a fucking warped hand if you do that. He was a dick but said fine. I did my own rehab after the cast came off and within a month of stretching and strengthening I got 100% range of motion. Your story is more complicated as you had a birth defect and an old break. If there is a callus that needs to be worked on along with the other stuff I mentioned. Add massage over the area that hurts and on both sides for a few minutes at a time and a few times a day. You sound like a bad step and you are going to have a break with the stress fracture under it. Also I would suggest taking Calcium as your bones are getting narrow. After you get to where the pain is limited either get pt or ask me what easy exercises you can do anywhere. Include the exact position that the direct pain is, if it radiates in different directions at different times and I may be able to help without even seeing it as I have done rehab with myself and many others quite successfully. But you definitely wanted to make sure your walking stride protects your foot and not to compensate by over using the other foot or it will get injured.

    Sorry for the book but I know the frustration you are going through and I have had dickhead doctors not pay attention to me. I talk to doctors the same way I talk to techs. I let them know what I have had, what I have been doing and what specifics are wrong, even if they change. If they start asking a dumb question I get pissed at them. I have had a dr say he wanted to shorten my achilles surgically in a year I was going to Olympic Trials. I said fuck no. My achilles swell up after a couple months of hard training in running spikes or if it is cold. All the methods of treatment except surgery, which would make other parts of my leg compensate and I would break down so you want to avoid surgery and hope all the suggestions and possible orthotics help. I make my own as I have the materials.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Meh. I dunno about that. The rheumatologist and podiatrist #1 basically dismissed my concerns outright and flat out patronized me. And while possibly well-meaning, the urgent care physician was wrong. There actually is no callus at all, and I’ve ended up damaging the skin trying to get rid of the phantom callus.

      I am on heaps of other medicines for things, but calcium isn’t one of them. There’s a specific reason for that, but I had to get off of it. I’m on other stuff for arthritis, connective tissue disease and bone density problems. You are right, though, that the podiatry medicine isn’t much help. But I’ll take even a teensy bit of pain relief to none. He did mention a tailor-made mold for me, but frankly I can’t afford that right now. So I’m going with his next-best option which was ordering a forty-dollar one from a medical supplier which he said still beats the shit out of an OTC one. He said this one has helped most of his patients with pronation and improper load-bearing problems. We did talk about elevation and RICE and continuing epsom soaks for that and another issue, just in case. Hell, I should buy stock in epsom salt as much as I go through! Sick of that shit. Almost as sick of that as I am of drugs. I’m sick to death of medications. I feel like I’m a dartboard, and everyone is just throwing every dart they’ve got at me. Drug darts. ๐Ÿ˜

      We talked about the orthotics, and he also gave me a short list of shoes I should shop from. Dear god are they ugly as fuck. Oh well. I need to get over that. I should be more worried about keeping a wheelchair from my immediate future than I am about the aesthetics of my footwear. Grr.

      Thank you for the advice and concern. And I hope I didn’t sound ungrateful. I just covered the main points of the appointments without fully fleshing it out. I was long-winded without even doing that! ๐Ÿ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am guessing about the calcium. Have you had any stones or a UTI? I have and they are no fun and typically you have to take calcium but limit it. I have went out and bought store ones and made cuts and put them into my shoes or sneakers in the past. A few years ago my toes and just past it were killing me. I bought a pair of Universal Gel Strap gloves. It is a soft gel pad under the feet and then there’s an opening for your toes.They have a whole variety of them with cushioning in various places. I had to wear them for a while. I have lots of materials to deal with anything that goes wrong. I also bought thin foam orthopedic pads. I would get a roll and put them where I needed them. Basically it has adhesive on the back and you peel it back. I would at times put them on my feet and other times I would put them on the soles of any shoes or sneakers that I had to. I order these things from a medical supply company called Medco.You can play around with store bought ones and trim them and pad them as needed. It is better than the ugly shoes. My sister was in a boot for a while. I wore one for one day and said hell no this is going to cause an injury. For her it helped her initial injury but it caused a 3 way break because of the position it puts you in.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Nah, that’s not it. It’s something else with the calcium.

        Those gel strap things are worth looking into, but my solution needs to be long-term. These aren’t straight up granny shoes he’s pointing me to. But they’re still ugly as fuck.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I can imagine. When I was young I had to wear an orthopedic shoe and a knee support that had steel hinges and laced up from mid shin to mid thigh. I also had heavy orthotics as I am unique as I pronate and supinate. Like I said you can get an over the counter orthotic and get some padding and add it where it is needed.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m glad someone finally confirmed that no, it wasn’t all in your head and yes, you really did have some damage and here’s how you can help yourself. I think THAT should be the motto of doctors.

    I’ve never had this problem with something like a broken bone. I DID have this problem when I entered menopause. My GP didn’t believe me. Actually, I complained about early menopause symptoms back in my early 30s, but like I could get anyone to listen to me then! Would have been better; it was a sign of the rheumatoid arthritis. Anyway, I made the doc run the blood tests. The next meeting with him, he didn’t say anything about it. So I just looked at him and said ‘I’m right, aren’t I? Menopause.’ Then he admitted that yes, I was in menopause. Bloody doctors! What, like I don’t know my own body? Yeesh!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! And I agree – that’s a very good point. He not only helped me, but he instructed me on how to help myself moving forward with the issues I saw him about.

      And girl, we have weird things in common. I went into perimenopause in my early twenties. Well, that’s when it was confirmed. Who knows when it really kicked in, you know? But I’ve NEVER had it connected to arthritis…I didn’t even know they could be connected! I have more avenues to pursue and questions to ask. ๐Ÿ™‚

      I’m so glad you were persistent! I hope that has led to better care for you. I really do.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, that’s what my last rheumatologist told me, that the RA was causing the early menopause. I never questioned it because it felt right. My body was so screwed up for SO long. And so many things were due to the RA. Even my inability to form decent muscles in my arms. I used to pump iron in my 20s. Couldn’t really get anything. Once I began my Etanercept injections I began to develop arm muscles doing the simplest exercises. So yes! Better care. I’m all for it. ๐Ÿ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  7. What an agonizingly frustrating situation these docs put you thought. I felt guilty because you wrote it with such life and humor that I was chuckling — I’m sorry about that — the whole way through.

    I am so glad that you were finally heard and that you have learned more about the real issue afflicting your foot. The more you know….


    best of luck,


    Liked by 1 person

  8. Yep!! I have come to the point that I should give up and just bow I’m having to live with my health problems… I have what looks like a goitre on my neck,but being told in too young-I’m 29! People can have a thyroid condition from birth! Complete bullshit! I’ve given up on UK doctors! Instead,I’m being told its diabetes!!! Yeah,sure diabetes causes goiters!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m coming to the conclusion that (by and large) they just don’t care anymore. That whole “you’re too young to have exactly what your tests say you have so we’re just gonna ignore it, mkay?” mentality drives me batty.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Mmmm hmmm.. We have to campaign over here in the UK for earlier cervical smear testing.. Unlike in the U.S, you have a gynaecologist from puberty! Even if you are a young girl, and complain about period pain etc,you get told that you’ll “grow out of it.”

        Liked by 1 person

      2. They have an age limit here.. 25.. It makes sense to do it earlier and have cervical cancer checks.. Girls are more promiscuous now, and for those that aren’t, they still are at risk from problems including womb prolapse,and germ cell ovarian cancer!! Over here, if you are young and not sexually active, say 14 for example, they say that they can’t do certain procedures.. But from what I hear in America, they can do internal exams to check everything is OK.. There have been girls of 19 and 20 who have DIED because of the levels of fuckery that doctors over here do!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Damn, I had no idea. I knew girls who were (supposedly) seeing gynecologists by 15. One I know about for a fact – and it may have saved her life. Supposedly there’s a push going on now – here – for women to not get mammograms until 40, though. Women have died from complications of breast cancer younger than that. Bleh. Bleh bleh bleh. Leaves a really bad taste in the mouth.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Yes.. That’s another problem.. Breast cancer checks.. Women my age have had cancer.. Seems like some of us are unfortunate with age and gender! They need to lower that! You said you’re premenopausal at an early age? Does this mean you will get mammograms earlier(Assuming you’re under 40?

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Yes, I’m 35. I can still get one, right now. But I’ve seen so many doctors this year, that I’m gonna put it off. (Right now, the minimum age to have the mammogram is 35, though, you can probably force one with a referral from a general practitioner.)

        If I can still get one next year with no problems, I’ll schedule to get a baseline early in 2016.

        There has been cancer in my immediate family – not breast cancer, but still. I want to force myself to at least get the baseline done.

        Liked by 1 person

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