Starlight Blogger Award

Drew at From the Machine gave me the Starlight Blogger Award. You’ll find a good blog there and a new friend if you haven’t met already. Please go for a visit.

This one has such a special description, so I told Drew I would do it. But I’m going to modify it (even though I know damn well the rules say no tinkering).

The description states that the giver is “to think at the light emanating from the stars, the ones that truly touch your soul with their work, the ones that are the light for you, a true starlight blogger.” I know sometimes we just throw names out there, because nominating can be such a fucking chore. Especially for someone like me who works herself up into a mess of emotions even thinking about picking people (because that always means leaving shit tons more OUT). So the fact that Drew picked me for this actually does mean something to me. Look at that description, for heavens sake. I can’t live up to that. But I’m flattered. Truly. And Drew is a great person…so please go check out From The Machine.

As for the nominating, I’m not doing it. I know the point is two-fold: to acknowledge bloggers who are important to us as well as to help spread the word about blogs that you may not have discovered yet. But there are heaps of ways to do that. And as for acknowledging, I hope the ones of you who are “starlight” for me already know that you are. Because I hope I’ve been showing that to you with my words. But I can’t do the nominations thing – y’all have no idea how much anxiety I have over picking and choosing and leaving people out and hurting feelings. Maybe it’s all the serious rejection issues I have. Let’s chalk it up to that. Blah. Enough of that.

This is a happy, touching award. And those of you who touch my soul know it. At least I hope you do.

Three Questions from Drew:

1. If you could go back in time 10 years and give yourself one piece of advice, what would it be? Let’s see. ONE? I think it would be good for me to hear: Don’t forget you’re going to be dead one day. You get one life. One life. Get in the driver’s seat and drive, because the people currently driving aren’t concerned about your needs. Take control, because if you don’t…you’ll still be only riding shotgun ten years from now, struggling to take control of your own life. If you think everyone else deserves to be happy, then you’re a fucking hypocrite to believe that you’re the one exception to that rule.
2. Who is someone that has profoundly inspired you in one way or another? Mamaw. She taught me that no matter how poor you are. How friendless you are. How many illnesses your body is assulted with. No matter how many holes and leaks there are in your floor and ceiling and life. No. Fucking. Matter. What. You can still strive to be positive and be an extremely positive force in the life of others. You can always give, because the best gift you can give another is the gift of self. Thank you mamaw. And The Aussie. To never quit. To never give up. To always strive for personal growth. To never let the darkness of your mind keep you so far down that you give up on life. To never lose your sense of humor. To accept help. And to always be there for those you love. No. Matter. What. Thank you Aussie.
3. What is your favorite film (or top 5, if choosing just one is impossible)? Uh. Shit. The Brothers Bloom. Into the Wild. The Goonies. The Fountain. Oldboy. Howl’s Moving Castle. Good Will Hunting. Fight Club. The Machinist. Burn After Reading. Grave of The Fireflies. Laputa: Castle in the Sky. Waltz with Bashir. The Breakfast Club. The Count of Monte Cristo. Yeah, y’all. I can’t pick just one or even five! Grrrr.

About Awards:

I’m not sure how many more of these I’ll do, if any. Here’s the thing: I love doing them. And they’re super flattering and actually mean more to me than you know to be thought of as worthy of anyfuckingthing at all. The fact that y’all are even here, reading, liking, commenting, hell my brain still hasn’t accepted it. I’m humbled and grateful, truly.

The three that I’ve done so far, plus the quote challenge, have been fun. And I also love answering the questions. But. At the same time, they do stress me out. Particularly with the nominations, a point which I’ve probably beaten to death by now. Not only that, but I don’t want to get to the point where I’m doing more of this than purging the things that are on my mind and need to come out.

I’m on the fence, though. Because I truly do have fun doing the questions and seeing y’all’s answers (hell yeah I just double apostrophed!). I mean, hell, the community is a big part of the reason I’m here. Otherwise, I’d just keep a fucking journal, right? So I’m also thinking about doing them, but maybe designating certain days for it. Like doing any unfinished ones every other Saturday or something. Anyone have any thoughts they’d like to share on awards and how you do or do not handle them?