Dudes. So Evil Squirrel over at Evil Squirrel’s Nest did a post at the start of the year about bizarre search terms that led to his site. (It’s hilarious. Take a gander. Or a goose. Whatevs.)
So I usually get the ole “unknown search terms” leading to mine. But I just noticed a couple of out-there ones. Check it:
- fuck u darling
- japanese proverb about humans having 3 faces
- kate hudson sucks
- aka all i know
- stephellaneous wordpress
I’m totally gonna start paying better attention to these. And the “unknown search terms” are pissing me off!
I imagine they go something like this:
- best blog buddies ever
- eccentric girl who types fuck a lot
- baby got back
- punkwafers
That is all. Bet you didn’t think you’d ever see a post this short by le moi. You were wrongo.
That is all. Again.
Ha!
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You can thank Google for all the Unknown Search terms. They went all privacy crazy a couple years ago and started encrypting search terms to keep them off of websites’ stats lists. My first full year of blogging was in 2012, and I’d get several good strings of terms every day… and I didn’t even post that much then! Now, even with my massive archive and about 5 posts a week, I’m lucky if I get a handful of good ones every month….
Thanks for the shoutout!
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Of course! I love your site, and I loved that post. And then I started looking at mine and was super miffed that nothing but “unknown” was showing up. I’m getting some goodies now! 😀
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Lol. Baby got back… Unknown search items?… Oooh butterfly!
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Oooo I like butterflies! And snails and slugs and hummingbirds and hi!
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Ooooo those unknown search terms annoy me! The three that I could remember include child on santa lap, abusive relationships, and when i thought i was fat
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Hahaha ewww child on santa lap is WEIRD. I’ve gotta be on the lookout for the now. That “fuck u darling” blew my mind this morning, so I started digging. 😀
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YAY! A post from Ms. Stephanie! I love the “fuck u darling” one. And I’ll go take a goose right now. Or a puffin.
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There were two posts from Ms. Stephanie! And I bet you DO love that particular one! Puffins. Take puffins.
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I’ll have to check the other one, I was just going down the Reader.
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My reader and email keeps dropping people. I need to make some bookmarks. Take care of that for me, Jeeves.
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I am not your Jeeves.
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Don’t you get mouthy with me, Jeeves.
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I’m not your Jeeves. And are you sure you want to tell me that?
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Not. At. All.
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😮
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And now Ms. Stephanie is going to get a subpar Vanilla Chai Latte because someone won’t make me one.
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Someone will, but someone is not anywhere near someone at the moment and it would be stale by the time it got there. Do you want a curdled, stale chai?
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No, I do not! I expect magic. And I tripped and spilled a third of my chai on the way out. This is an unacceptable turn of events.
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Well, you have expectation in one hand and chair spilled in the other, see which one you have more of. 🙂
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Is that like wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up faster? Because I’m full of both, but I assure you I have more expectations than chai.
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Ding ding ding! Tell her what she’s won! But I don’t want to hear about you being full of shit. That’s just gross. More fiber?
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You’re gross!
Wait, what did I win?
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An amazing prize!
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What is it?
What is it?
What is it?
Tell me what it is!
Are we there yet?
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Don’t make me turn stop this car!
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Is that a euphemism?
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You should’ve gone before we left the house!
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I was too busy getting your crap ready!
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My crap, you’re the one who brought 14 suitcases! Or whatever.
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15. I need an empty for souvenirs.
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Oh, well then you are forgiven.
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Then all is as it should be!
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Is it?
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Not quite.
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“Fuck u Darling” is perfect. I think I need to tag my site with that…
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Hahaha, I know, right? I looked at that and just stared in awe. Like, what the fuck? 😀
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Yeah, I don’t get the Unknown Search Terms either. How are they unknown if you know how many there are?
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Right?!?!? 😀
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Right.
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I read punkwafers as PINK wafers – a scrumptiously delightful biscuit from my youth. You made me peckish! 😉
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Oo I’ve never heard of this. Must have pink wafers!
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Oh oh oh oh oh we have those! YUMYUM!
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This isn’t your first short post! Your 100-word story post was also free of rambling. 😉
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Hahaha! Perhaps that’s what I need – topics with restraints! Like straight jackets!
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Apt comparison 😛
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Oh merci beaucoup!
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“fuck u darling” Hahahahaha!
I’ve done a couple posts on search terms. They are so fun to look through! And kinda scary at times. One that popped up for me last week was “mother in law kick balls” o.O
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Hahaha what the actual hell! That’s awesome! 😀 😀
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Eccentric girl who types fuck a lot.
Yep.
That’s Stephellaneous….!
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I read that as ‘an eccentric girl who typefucks a lot’….oops!
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Oops indeed!. Best not tell Steph that!!
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Ahahaha, too late my dear perverts! Welcome to my basement of typefuckery.
Ew.
I really go too far sometimes.
You’re welcome.
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Too far….?
You?
Nah….
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Good answer! You have now gained entry into the basement!
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I shall take a look around once I have removed my waders and gas mask…. Not at all odd. Really it isn’t…..
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BECAUSE YOU’RE WADING THROUGH SHIT! I GET IT! HMPH!
I shall have you horsewhipped!
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That hadn’t actually occurred to me. I was trying to be a bit creepy… Obvious fail!!
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Hahaha! Oopsie!
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No, I prefer the way your mind works…!
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And I prefer the way your…
WHAT?!
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😜😜😜😜 I told you we were all bonkers here…😜😜😜😜!
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Hahaha! Just the way I like it!!!
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That, too.
KIDDING. I kid. Good day, sir! Ma’am! 😛
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You know what they say about jokes carrying grains of truth…
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You can make truth wheat?
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Nah, not truth wheat, but truth bread! Anyone who eats it tells the truth and nothing but the truth.
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😀
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Whoop! Boogie boogie! If you knew me in person, you’d see the biggest shy, bashful wallflower that walks the earth. Until you really get to know me, then I’m afraid the fucks really do fly. But only if you’re not an old lady or something. Which I don’t think you are.
Woo look at me ramble!
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Ramble like a mad old walker following a bridlepath across private land….
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Why that sounds positively delightful!
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Nah, BONKERS!
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I love the search terms types of posts. I done one recently and some of mine are really, really worrying!
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I missed it! Linkydink?
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Well, there’s volume one and two lol http://steve-says.net/?s=Oh+my+f***ing+Google&submit=Search
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OH MY GOD! I can’t wait for my future search terms! AHAHAHAHA you win you win!
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I can’t remember if I put “Jesus dick pics” in those ones but yeah someone actually searched for that and what’s more worrying is where they ended up lol
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OH HOLY SHIT. That’s…that’s…THAT’S SO FUCKED UP! HAHAHAA!
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“MRI pokey nipples” led me here. (Unfortunately, the “Images” with the search were all hairy NFL players.)
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Hahaha ewwww! That would be a totally awesome search to lead here!
But. Out of a morbid curiosity…just how many pokey nipples have you seen on hairy NFL players?
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It’s research on a book I’m writing about Y.A. Tittle.
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Tittle. I see what you did there.
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Love this one
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Thank you! 🙂
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I get the unknow search terms mostly. Once in a while I get an actual term, but nothing to0 wierd or exciting. Just searches about crochet and photos mostly.
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Hehehe, I love the weird ones! I think I need to keep a little notebook.
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