Fuck it. I’m too mad to focus on anything but Orlando, etc.

I don’t usually write about topics like what happened last night. Massacres, terrorism, bullshit politicians and elections, the shitty state of education, etc. I avoid inflammatory or just deeply troubling events here on the blog. There’s plenty of the rest of the shit all over the media.

I briefly entertained the idea of starting writing a travelogue today, but I can’t. I’m too angry to focus on anything but what happened last night and everything else that it calls to mind.

Last night/early this morning, yet again a lone gunman perpetrated an act of terrorism, this time in a nightclub in Orlando, Florida.

Right-wing media and individuals are focusing on gun control. HA! Yeah fucking right. They’re focused on the fact that this time, the shooter was a Muslim man. My thoughts on Islam (or any other organized religion, for that matter) are not the topic I want to discuss just now. However, it’s a fucking outrage that so many are focused on the man’s religious beliefs.

How dare we allow Muslims to live in America! This is what happens when we let brown people in! Build the wall! Ban non-whities! And while we’re at it, let’s send some camouflaged crusaders to shoot up and take the belongings of the rest of ’em all over the world! Look at what has happened to our Christian nation! Those sand-niggers and faggots all deserve to die, but they’re gonna use this as an excuse to take my guns from me! They’ll pry them from my cold, dead hands!

Ha. Bunch of fucking hypocrites. Yes, by all means let’s not add any more amendments to the constitution. It was a perfect document, wasn’t it? PERFECT. You know, all except for that pesky First Amendment. Freedom of and from religion? Pffft. This is a Christian nation! By which we mean that we can slander, murder, imprison, drag behind our cars, shoot, rape anyone…so long as the perpetrator is a good ole white Christian and the victims some marginalized minority class or ethnicity.

How dare we allow a Muslim into this country! But it’s perfectly acceptable to give him the right to purchase and wield assault rifles! Wait. Oops. Shit. I mean. Keep Muslims out, and let the rest of us wield assault rifles! Wait. Fuck. I mean, except them blacks. The rest of us have the right to bear arms! Motherfuck. Except anyone who is even remotely brown! Yeah! The rest of us get to shoot all you no-account, non-Christian, homos! Yeah! Except women. They should be in the kitchen. Sos the rest of us have full bellies to go out and do some justice!

I don’t hear anyone talking about stripping the nation of all firearms. Would increased gun control laws lead to that? Who fucking knows. Maybe so. But right now, the primary focus is on shit like fucking assault rifles. Seriously? You think the price we pay to be allowed to have shit like that is worth it? Men, women, children of all faiths, all ethnicities, all beliefs and ideologies, all classes…are losing their lives at ever-increasing rates. Right here from good ole home-grown terrorism. And we’re protecting the rights of the murderers! Would you be singing a different tune if it was your son or daughter who was slaughtered? If it was your spouse or cousin or favorite coworker? I bet you would. You sit there in your cushy armchairs, proclaiming your ignorance and vowing that you would feel the same no matter what. But you wouldn’t. You’re too blind to see it, too drenched in your hatred.

People are dying. People are suffering. But you don’t give a fuck. You high-and-mighty, self-righteous pricks.

And the rest of us, what are we gonna do about it? Lemme guess, you’re working on a rainbow flag filter for your Facebook profile photos. Yes, because that’s so fucking effective. Good for you; you’re such a mindful citizen. That’s going to do so much to help replace the lost blood and organs and sense of safety and self-worth of the survivors. It’s going to do such wonders for the mental illness epidemic sweeping the nation.

Go ahead and go to work on Monday and talk about how you could have seen this coming, that those people wouldn’t have died if they hadn’t been in a gay bar in the first place. Really? Have you seriously fucking forgotten the movie theater? The schools I’ve lost count of? The military bases? Really? Are you that fucking delusional? Or were all of them gay or brown, too? No, you fucking fucktards.

I can’t wait to go in to work tomorrow and hear about how Obama invited another “Islam” terrorist into our country. Nevermind the terrorists every fucking president ships out of here every fucking day to give some good ole fashion democracy to people whose countries we’re invading. Yeah. Our fucking guns are named democracy. That’s what we introduce them to. Lemme give some democracy in exchange for oil and puppet governments. But at least we ain’t gay, ain’t that right, Archie?

I’m angry. I’m rambling. And I’ve completely forgotten the mostly structured set of points I wanted to address. I’m too incensed to think straight about it. Anyway. Yeah. That’s enough. I can feel my blood pressure climbing to the ceiling, so I need to provide myself with a good diversion. Stick my head back in the sand for some mind numbing.

44 thoughts on “Fuck it. I’m too mad to focus on anything but Orlando, etc.”

      1. I hope this doesn’t come off as cruel, but as an Australian, I’m no longer angry about US mass shootings. I lost all my anger after Sandy Hook. I am devastated, but I am no longer shocked. I am disgusted, but I am no longer surprised. I am horrified, but it seems to have become the norm. Whenever I hear that there’s been another US mass shooting, I just kind of deflate now. That’s the best way to explain it. I just think, ‘Another one’, and start thinking about how tragic it is and I wonder when things will change.

        But I loved your post. Your post was so good, so spot on, in every single way. It was amazing to read. You should be proud you wrote such a captivating, moving piece.

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      2. Thank you, truly. And it doesn’t come off as cruel at all. Part of all this hatespeak that happens in the aftermath is because even we’ve become largely desensitized to it. The media sensationalizes this shit, and uses the word “TERROR” in all caps, with blood dripping down the graphics. But they only use that word when the perp is Muslim. Heh. Anyway. Yeah. I completely get it. Most of my anger right now is at the reactions, not even at the event itself. Because I’m NOT fucking surprised. Not for one second. And that in itself is a damn shame – it just further illustrates how bad it’s gotten that shit like this doesn’t even remotely register surprise. Just…yes…sadness, shaking my head, shrugging my shoulders…then getting irate at the ignorance spewed in the aftermath.

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      3. I know! I’m so angry about that. I hate how it’s always terrorism if the person’s Muslim … but Christian? He’s mentally ill. I agree – I’m really actually mad at some people’s responses and those that are overjoyed because this is “god’s work”. Ironically, I’m sure they’re also calling him a terrorist and Muslims be damned in the same breath.

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  5. Yes. Yes. Yes. I haven’t written much about it except to shame two of my congressman on Twitter for their part in debacle – by voting against background checks and basically blocking any effective gun control. Sucking all the money they can get off the NRA tit.

    When I try to pull together coherent thoughts I just fall into dark hole filled with all that is wrong with the U.S. All the hate, all the incoherent, illogical, grubby yelling that is going to happen by people that make me sad that I am an American. And it all seems fruitless to try and fight.

    I look at the hypocrisy of the legislators with their thoughts and prayers while having actively blocked legislation that would help limit these things. I look with even more sickness at the utterly narcissistic response by Trump. And all I can do is despair.

    Wrap yourself in the anger. Its better than the despair.

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    1. YES! This – I love what you’ve said here and agree. It is a shameful time to be American. And, I hate talking politics here, but fuck it…I AM proud of how far Bernie has come. And I think he’s further than he’s being given – I’ve been reading about the new lawsuit gearing up for fraudulent caucus tallies. We’ve let shit go too far, though, and I don’t know if there’s much hope for any improvement. At least not in the immediate future. I don’t know what it’s gonna take for everyone to wake up. I try to turn a blind eye to it, ignore it…but that makes me part of the problem, too. Ugh. So fucking angry, and I’m surrounded by people who are just like Trump. It’s disgusting. If it weren’t for you all here, I would think all reason was lost.

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  11. I really want to build a wall around me and the rest of the world because people suck. I’m really trying to avoid reading about this, but I’m to the point that I’m about to delete my Facebook account again because I see people defending their 2nd amendment rights before the bodies have even turned cold. I’m fucking tired of humanity and its idiocy and hatred. Where’s the fucking love?

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    1. Yes, yes exactly that. I barely see any point to Facebook anymore. I’ve actually unfollowed almost all of my “friends.” I cannot stomach what they’re posting. I only keep it around for one or two people I’d otherwise lose contact with.

      Also. Can I stay behind that wall? I’ll help pay for it.

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Lay it on me!