Breaking News: I’m Moving to Antarctica

Breaking News Update: I’m full of shit and am not actually moving to Antarctica.

Maybe.

Dudes. So. The first half of my day was slow as fuck, so I made myself busy by slinging my resume at just about anything that would take it. Okay, that’s not exactly true. I’ve gotten pretty picky. Ish.

Today a few interesting things happened. Well, they were interesting to me.

1. One of the jobs I applied to – in the Greater Portland Area – got an instant nibble. The pay isn’t fantastic, but it’s good enough for me, for now. It’s comes fairly close to doubling what I’m making now (which is a below-market wage for what I do). So that’s pretty sweet, because I already know I can pay my bills on half that. Within minutes, homedude emailed me thanking me for my application, saying he was “impressed by [my] resume,” etc. He asked me a couple of questions, and I think I significantly erred with this one. You see, one of the questions was, “When are you planning to relocated to this area?” And I said, “August 1” (a date which is highly optimistic and contingent upon a very…very good opportunity). The fleshed out response included needing time to give my formal notice (though my current employer does know it’s coming soon), as well as needing time to actually get up there. I think that was a mistake. I think I should have said something a bit more hedgey. I like to be forthright, but there’s nothing wrong with hedging your bets a bit and letting the person know that “August 1” isn’t ironclad. I could be persuaded to move sooner. If I don’t hear from him in the next couple days, I’m planning to write to him again as a followup.
2. Next up – I applied for a gig in Antarctica. I shit you not, dudes. It’s some government gig, doing some research that you don’t get to know about unless you receive clearance and are accepted as a member of the team. I specifically applied to a human resources / research assistant position. It’s a year-long contract, and if you’re accepted you have to go through special psychological training in order to live in the extreme and isolated environment. Sounds fucking awesome. What an adventure, right? I could meet The Thing! Aliens! X-Files! The truth is out there! Dudes. I’ll never get it, because I’m a total long-shot. But I figured what the fuck and threw my resume at it, anyway. They wrote and asked me a couple questions, which I answered pretty much the same as the one I wrote about above.
3. Dudes. This one is fucking ridiculous. Right toward the end of the day, I receive an email from the top HR homie at corporate. Straight out offering me a job. Turns out he saw my resume on our intranet (it’s there, because I’m applying to other jobs with our company at locations in the PNW…which my intranet profile clearly states). Straight up offers me a job. Asks me to RELOCATE to this city for …. wait for it …. oh fuck it. For an ENTRY LEVEL accounting gig. That would have been fanfuckingtastic fifteen years ago. But this dude tells me he has an “excellent offer at our ______ office for this ______ position.” It’s entry-level, and he can see in our org chart that I’m beyond that now. He can also see in our org chart that I’m already here! And )(!*&#*$&)OIFJIOFJOI* I don’t know why, but that one really pissed me off. I think because when I first received the email, I thought it was gonna be in reference to one of the two I have my resume out on in the Portland/Vancouver area. No dice. Hmph.

Tomorrow, I will continue my quest. I’m not giving up on this. I’m not giving up on landing a gig with my company, either. That would be preferable, if the money and position were right. It’s beginning to look like I can get a higher paying gig with a better title at a different company. So long as I’m working in Corporate America, that’s the direction I need to go in to secure my future of selling all my shit and financing an adventure lifestyle. Fuckyeah.

~

I wasn’t gonna talk only about work. I had other stuff in mind, but it eludes me now. I have sleepy brain (YAYYYYY for sleepy!), and for some odd reason, I’m thinking about Japan. Specifically the Jigokudani Monkey Park…and the Shimanami Kaido. Yeah. Goodnight fuckers! I mean, friends! Friendly fuckers!

Look at those fuckers. Little snow monkeys chillin’ in a hot tub. That’s what’s up.