I can’t help myself. Can we talk about Game of Thrones? Please? Fuck it, I’m gonna. This post be spoilery and full of spoilers.

Y’all know damn well I don’t do formal reviews. I’m just gonna talk a bunch of shit and label it a review(ish). If I wanted to write an essay, I’d knock your fucking socks off. But I’d rather talk shit. So I’m gonna talk shit. Once more for those in the nosebleeds: SPOILERS, MOTHERFUCKERS.

Brienne & Tormund

brienne-tormund_1
He totally wants to do her. She does, too. She’s just in denial and hung up on Jamie. Come on, Brienne. Get some wildling up in ya.

Dudes. DUDES. Tormund being a total horndog toward Brienne, and Brienne being wildly uncomfortable….was, without question, my absolute favorite part of the season. Rare is the occasion when I laugh out loud if I’m watching or listening to something by myself. I don’t really know why that is. But oh man, I busted a gut in these few scenes. Look! Just look at their faces! Brienne is a badass and has been one of my top characters since I met her. Same with Tormund. They should totally do it. And he’s a wildling, for fuck’s sake. I bet once you go wildling, you never go back.

Lady Mormont

Lyanna Mormont.jpg

This chick right here needs no introductions. She can introduce her damn self just fine. Seriously. She is an epic badass. When Jon and Sansa approach her to ask for the support of her house (read: her knights), she gives them hell. And rightfully so. No house worth its salt will throw its banner behind a cause without knowing fucking well it’s not only for a worthy cause but also that the knights will not be fighting a guaranteed losing effort. The Starks begin with simple pleas, but Lady Mormont isn’t having it. When all is said and done, she devotes her entire army to the cause: 62 fighting men, which makes them all the more valuable to her house and to Bear Island. And she didn’t just devote her troops, she’s active through the entire effort between the Starks and the Boltons (Ramsay).

Seriously. Team Stark. Team Mormont. Team Dothraki (I only seem to like Daenerys when she has a Dothraki horde.)

5btYjMA
Fo’ real yo’

The Dothraki Horde

Am I the only one who’s happy to see these motherfuckers back in action? I mean besides the yum factor (*sniff* I still miss Khal Drogo), they’re simply badass. Look, I’m in the MAJOR minority here in what I’m about to say: I think Emily Clarke is seriously lacking as an actress. Like hardcore. I get tired of watching her. Now, I love her story-line and her role. I love Daenerys. I just don’t think Emily Clarke is right for the part (it could very well be a problem with her direction, though). So I focus on other things, like The Dothraki, or her cool counselors. Oh. And of course the dragons. Duh.

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Yep. Much prefer Daenerys this way, even more so if she was in Dothraki threads, which she kind of is here.

But I really fucking hate this guy:

wannabe daario naharis
He is such a cocksmudge. Seriously, Daario Naharis he is not. And he’s certainly not compelling as either a love interest or a trusted advisor. Perhaps most aggravating of all is how he switches from an American to a pseudo-British accent….sometimes in the same fucking sentence! I hope we never see him again now that she’s leaving him in the pyramid. Better yet, go back to Treme, bitch. You were a shit actor then, too.

I mean, really. Whatever happened to the real Daario Naharis? He was smug and cocky and arrogant and mysterious.

Daario Naharis
Will the real Daario Naharis please stand up? Please stand up? Am I the only one who misses this guy? Seriously. Why did they axe this Sebastian Bach lookin’ motherfucker. I’ll hire him.

Hmmmm. What else?

Oh! Oh! This Crazy Bitch!

Cersei has gone full on Mad Queen on us. How many times did she threaten to burn cities? To burn it all to ash for the sake of her children? Over and over and over and fucking over again. And then she did it. She burned the fucking sept, with everyone in it: Margaery, Loris, The High Sparrow, Lancel, Mace Tyrell, Kevan Lannister, etc. Anyone in the sept boiled alive by wildfire. (If anyone survived it, I’ll be pissed because it’s simply not possible the way they filmed it. They were all trapped.)

wildfire

The best part? It instantly bites that crazy bitch in the ass.

Oops
She underestimated Tommen’s love for Margaery and his desire to be a good king. Whoopsie. Mommy’s prophesy came true.

But hey, at least she got the throne, right? For now…

watch-out-cersei-here-are-all-the-contenders-that-could-take-the-iron-throne-in-season-7-1036313
I’ll give her this. This episode was the first time I’ve ever seen her looking like a badass. Too bad even her brotherlover hates her now. She’s so fucked. I can’t wait to see one of her brothers off her ass. At least that’s what I think is gonna happen.

Who else do I wanna talk about? I mean, Jon Snow doesn’t surprise me, except it was really nice seeing his ass. He’s always a brooding, emotional, thoughtful badass. I love Jon Snow. And I fucking KNEW he was a Targaryen. Absolutely one of the best good characters. I love what has happened with Sansa. It took her long enough, but she’s certainly earned a place in my good character book. She reminds me a lot of Catelyn, her mother’s character. And that’s a good thing. Hmm. (I am curious how it will play out once it comes to light that Jon is not Ned’s bastard and doesn’t belong in House Stark afterall. But Sansa, Arya and Bran still in the picture.)

Oh! Oh! I was superpumped to watch Sansa watch Ramsay get eaten by his own dogs. I’m glad Jon spared him on the battlefield so we all got to have that moment.

I never in a million years imagined Theon Greyjoy returning to my good graces, but it’s a testament to good writing and good acting that he’s there now. I’m proud of what he’s become now and look forward to seeing more of him next season (which very well may be our last season).

Things are shaping up nicely, and while I’m sad to see the end so near, I’ll kinda be glad when it’s over, too. I don’t watch much TV…so I tend to put off GOT until a season has piled up. Then I lose a day marathoning the fuck out of it until I’m caught up. So…this is six seasons so far? I’ve devoted six full days of my life to this show! Doesn’t sound like much, but it is. Hell, it’s a phenomenal story, though.

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! I can’t finish this post without Arya.

I’ve been worried that Arya is losing her humanity and, just as importantly, her identity. I don’t want a girl to be no one. I want a girl to be Arya Stark. And I want Arya Stark to get back to the rest of the Starks, bringing with her all of her newfound badassery! Suffice it to say, I’m superpumped that a girl is Arya Stark and not no one. That scene with her and the little bitch was badass. By the way, Arya is totally Batman.

AryaBatman

Also. I read what I thought was a massive spoiler before I ever watched the season. Someone wrote, after some episode, that Arya died. I didn’t mean to run into that. You know how the internet is. And I was fucking livid. It’s part of what took me so long to finally watch the season and get caught up. I was dreading it. So yeah. I’m thrilled.

Oh! Oh! And Oh My Fuck, this scene!

Arya-Stark-killing-Walder-Frey-Game-of-Thrones
Sweet. Fucking. Revenge! Arya’s back, bitches!

OHMYGOD AND THE HOUND

I fucking knew he was still alive. On Game of Thrones, if you don’t actually watch someone die, there’s a damn good chance he or she is still alive. I acted a damn fool when this motherfucker showed back up on the screen. Fistpumping the air, screaming, “YEAH! YEAH MOTHERFUCKER! YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” I shit you not. Welcome back, my friend.

the-hound-game-of-thrones.png
Shityeah, mothafucka! THAT’S MY HOMEBOY RIGHT THERE! I hope he and his brother, the FrankenMountain, meet up so he can slam an axe down into that beast’s unholy skull.

So. Those are my highlights. What were yours?

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32 thoughts on “I can’t help myself. Can we talk about Game of Thrones? Please? Fuck it, I’m gonna. This post be spoilery and full of spoilers.

  1. Um, I gotta say, I was just as surprised as you were, that I LIKED Theon, again! I am not afraid to admit I actually shed a tiny tear when his sister “brought him back to life”, asking “are you with me?” And we saw a glimpse of the old Theon returning… I was like; this is MAD skills by Theon actor and writers etc, to make me like that dude again!! ๐Ÿ˜

    Was a bit surprised by the lack of reaction from Cersei losing her last child.. I thought she’d be insane with grief, but there she was, sitting upright, on the throne! Just shows how cold she is? I dunno.
    You made some really good points and so on, so I dont think there is much more to say. Oh except one thing; I hope Jaime realizes suddenly that he is in love with Brienne! But then she chooses Thormund instead! Epic win for Brienne, life lesson learned for Jamie!! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿธ

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah! Glad it wasn’t just me! Felt reaaaaaaally weird pulling for Theon again! That’s some masterful storytelling right there!

      And Cersei! Bitch is whack. I dunno if she half expected it because of that witch’s prophecy when she was a kid, or what. Either way, to not shed a single tear? I hope Jamie kills her.

      Haha wouldn’t that be great?! Brienne picks the wildling just when Jamie finally realizes he shouldn’t be fucking his SISTER!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Could not have said it better myself! I’ve just re-watched Battle of the Bar-stewards and now I have the score of S6 playing – withdrawal is setting in already! Overall, I didn’t feel as excited by this season but there have been some AMAZING stand out moments. I love Tormund and Brienne (I also liked it when Tormund didn’t have a clue about flanking moves and was taking everything Davos said – another one of my faves – literally!)
    Things I loved:
    – Ramsey… hear me out… just like Joffrey, he was someone great to hate. And a superb actor. I’ll miss loathing him a bit (and Walder Frey)
    – That mosh pit of a battle – so grimy.
    – Best finale ever. Music made it for me, chillingly on point.
    – Tyrion trying to make friends with Greyworm and Missandei.
    – Greyworm looking hot as hell by double slicing throats.
    – Tommen sounding like he threw his crown in a bin!
    – Any scenes with Jorah, Davos or Varys.
    – The Hound!!! (and actually Ian McShane was mint too)
    – The way Yara struts around and subtly suggesting a bit of lady action to Dany.
    – Sam and Gilly’s interactions.
    – Lyanna Mormont for president! And our PM!
    – RIP HODOR ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

    Oh I could go on…I should have written a post. Maybe I’ll write a post. Sorry for taking up so much room! Is it April yet?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh hell yes, I kept saying how phenomenal the score was!

      I’m gonna miss Ramsay, too. He was soooooo evil, but he was so good at it. Gonna miss his episodes.

      Tyrion trying to make friends was hilarious! ๐Ÿ˜‚

      Sam and Jorah! And Gilly! And Yara! And and and oh my god I didn’t even mention Hodor! I sobbed like a a baby for nearly an hour. Had to pause my marathon to compose myself when that happened!!!!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. God I really want to sit down and write out a book on this!!! But I’ve got to get to my Dungeons and Dragons game…but maybe tomorrow.
    I love everything you love, Steph.
    All the things. โ™กโ™กโ™กโ™กโ™กโ™กโ™กโ™ก

    Liked by 1 person

      1. We are playing in The Forgotten Realms setting. I’m playing a half-orc Rogue. It’s amazing fun. You should move to New Orleans and play with us. I’ve always been happy to play DnD with Girls! ๐Ÿ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I love them all. You forgot the uncle from the wall who showed back to rescue the crippled raven-seeing kid (I can never remember everyone’s names). And I was FREAKING out when Arya killed Filch (snicker). I also loved when she offed that other bitch that tried to kill her – that girl had to GO. I want Arya and Peter Dinklage and Jon Snow to win all the things. I want the blonde bimbo’s character to win some stuff, too, but not as much because I don’t care for the actress either. And I want Marjaery’s grandmother to beat the fuck out of Circei. So maybe I want the grandmother to win all the things. Ack! I can’t decide!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. BENJEN! BENJEN! UNCLE BENJEN! Oh my gosh, I’ve been waiting for his return. I totally forgot to mention him!!!!! Ooo and Margaery’s grandmother is the shit! AHHHHHHHHHH I’m anxious for the next season and also loathing the idea of it as it may be the end.

      Like

  5. I love GoT. I absolutely love how the stark girls have evolved over the seasons. If you remember in season 1 sansa was stupid and naive while Arya was like her dad Ned. Too honest for their own good. But as seasons went by … Sansa became stronger and smarter. And Arya … an assassin. I loved the ending where she kills lord Frey exactly in a manner in which Lady Catherine was killed. Everything was perfect. And you’re right … some how I find it hard to trust Darrio. He is too pretty to be good . Lol ! And I cannot forget Cerise. Bad or good doesn’t matter … but in the end I did feel bad for her. She was all alone with Jaime gone. I wish her a peaceful and quick death. But the way she destroyed high sparrow and little sparrows is mind blowing. On the other hand Tommen … I never liked him. He was no king. In GoT if you’re not strong … you are no good alive.
    I can’t wait for the next season.

    Like

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