If I Were Bipolar

If I were bipolar, I bet I’d be a rapid cycler.

If I were bipolar, I bet I’d exit a two-month depression and launch right into an extended mixed episode.

If I were bipolar, I bet I’d make some dangerous decisions that would, ya know, put me in danger.

If I were bipolar, I bet I’d justify said dangerous decisions with shit like, “this is just what it looks like to live after stifling yourself for the better part of thirty-seven years.”

If I were bipolar, I bet I’d recover from heartbreak by meeting up with a never-ending string of dudes who give less than a shit about me.

If I were bipolar, I bet I’d only find pleasure in the kind of job that makes me pull my hair out.

If I were bipolar, I bet I’d leave that job on some random Tuesday night, meet up with some stranger, and stay up until 4 AM.

If I were bipolar, I bet I’d return to work the next day and alternate between bouncing off the walls and wanting to shoot myself in the face.

It’s a good thing I’m not bipolar.

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12 thoughts on “If I Were Bipolar

  1. I love this. I am not bipolar, but I see myself in some respects. Truly, I see most of us. It’s a push and pull and I’d like to see everyone write something like this, with that same honesty that comes in hindsight.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Joey. I almost didn’t publish it. But then it felt like I’d be lying, in a sense.

      I don’t know if I am – bipolar – or not. But some days… As you said, the push and pull is pretty damn universal.

      Liked by 1 person

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