Total Eclipse of the Sanity

People are going batshit fucking crazy over the impending apocalypse solar eclipse. Freeways are backing up like a motherfucker. Stores are already selling out of staples like water, toilet paper, and marij…yeah, just the water and toilet paper. This is Oregon; nobody’s selling out of pot or potsnacks any time soon.

Traffic here is already unpredictable. Some days, it takes 15 minutes to get to and from the office. Other days, it takes 45. (I’m not necessarily bitching about the commute time – I have a damn short one for the area. But what would be nice is some modicum of predictability. First world problem, I know. Shhhhh. I need a rant. Err. A rantlet, because this is definitely weak compared to my usually rantypants nature.)

But now? NOW? Pfft. It’s either 15 minutes or 2 hours. As we crawl further into the week, the big number gets bigger. More people come in to claim their $300 primitive campsites (not even an exaggeration). And why the fuck are the eclipse chasers clogging up the roads during rush hour?! Do they LIKE IT? Is it a big fat fuck you to Oregonians for price gouging the shit out of private and public properties alike to profit off of these eclipse wankers? GRRR.

I think I’ll carry my fussygrumps ass to the grocery store after work. Wait any longer, and I legit won’t be able to find any potsnacks water.

Oh. Oh! I’m thinking of following one of those writing prompt idea thingamajigs in an attempt to get myself back into it…. if anyone’s still lingering around here (first off FUCKING HI)…any suggestions?

P.S. It’s fucking sweater weather. In August. Fuckyeah.

29 thoughts on “Total Eclipse of the Sanity

      1. Hahaha – I missed reading your hilarious descriptions. 😁
        The move? From the house to the apartment, you mean? The parking lot behind the apartment is sketchy as fuck. I never use the back entrance.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I’m happy it’s cool enough for sweat pants, that’s nice. Totally not jealous at all. :/ Totally fine that it’s like 90 here. Whatever.
    I wanted to go to Carbondale, Illinois for the eclipse, but we are both afraid of being caught in a traffic jam of epic proportions and not being back in time to responsibly parent. Maybe we’ll catch the next one, crowd someone else’s city another time.
    We have a lot of events here in Indy. Sometimes downtown or west is just best avoided. Sorry the eclipse is causing your rantlet.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. HA! I know…I totally got hassled for bitching about being cold today. I was aware of what I was doing…and kept right on, anyway. Just like all those fuckers I hate… 😀

      Crowding someone else’s city sounds like a good idea. I’m like you…I’m steering clear of the local traffic jam. I’m lucky as hell that the office is closing that day because we’ll be right in the middle of one of the major jams.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m the exact opposite! Gimme hoodie weather every day, and I’m in heaven! It’s weird to adjust to, though…if I had my guard down, you might catch me confess I miss a teensy bit of the warmth. Oh well! I’ll never confess!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I’d love for it to be sweater weather (I call it hoodie weather, though) here. It’s been hot and humid the past few days and by the time I’m done walking home from work I feel like a swamp monster. Ugh…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hoodie weather! I should adopt that, because I’m a hoodie junky. 🙂

      Holy hell, I do NOT miss humidity. Well. I take that back. My lungs don’t miss it, but I was shocked to find the rest of me missing it. I’m cracking like a damn lizard. 😀 I DON’T MISS SWAMP MONSTER, THOUGH!


      1. Yeah, as I get older the drier my skin gets. Especially in the winter. Still, I’ll take putting lotion on my hands (insert juvenile laugh here) over being drenched in sweat any day.

        Liked by 1 person

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