Brief Update on Diane, The Wackadoodle Counselor
I know some of you are curious as to how my second session with Diane went. Let’s say it went poorly, and I will not be back to see her. For now, let me leave you with this tidbit: There were a few moments in the new “feelings” journal that had words like: hyper, smiley, playful, mischievous. She latched on to “playful” with a vengeance. And, knowing very little about me, said that any time I ever felt hyper and especially playful that it was at least as negative as my hopeless moments. She said any time I demonstrate playfulness that I’m doing either one of two things: manipulating people into laughing so that they would give me positive reinforcement that I didn’t get as a child or trying to cheer someone up like I always did with my mother.
It is a mistake to see playfulness as positive. You need to work on that at least as much as your depression.
I found it highly irresponsible of her to tell me that all of my brighter moments were at least as negative as moments when I’m wishing I hadn’t woken up that day. How much of a fucking moron does one have to be to say that to a woman with known suicidal ideation? Good thing I mostly heard it for what it was: the ravings of an absolute fucking moron.
Oh, oh, oh! I almost forgot this one!
You revealed a lot in few words. Next time, I expect to hear about how your childhood led you down the path of becoming a sexual deviant.
I nearly laughed in her smirking, self-satisfied face. I refrained. With great difficulty. I wanted to march to her bookshelf, grab the nearest bullshit textbook she was spewing this nonsense from, and chuck it in her face. Again, I refrained. With only slightly less difficulty.
In the effort of full disclosure, those aren’t exact quotes. But I did record that bitch this time, so I can go back and listen if I wanna. Right now, I don’t want to hear any more out of that woman’s mouth. Suffice it to say those words are at least very close to exact quotes.
My mood ever since has been dark…empty and numb when I’m lucky. It’s not all her. Work is a son of a bitch right now. More specifically, Queen Bitch must have something sharp and rusty stuck up her asshole. It’s the only thing that can explain her psychotic behavior these last two weeks. (And yes, I do know the definition of a psychotic.)
So. As a giant fuck you to both of those bitches, I’d like to intentionally change my mood for tonight (and hopefully the entire weekend).
~ PLAYLIST PARTY ~
I’ve had the idea to ask y’all to help me work on my playlists for some time. But Chevvy8 crystallized this for me in a conversation we had about those times you need some good ole music therapy. I believe Chevvy called those the times when you “just gotta shake it!” So that’s what I want to do now!
I’ll start us off with several of the songs I keep on hand to kickstart some fast-paced, upbeat funtimes. Not all of mine are exactly dancey songs, but those fit in extra-well on an upbeat playlist!
Please, please please join in and drop your upbeat tunes in the comments! Let’s party, Peopleaneous!
First up, Chevvy starts us out with a little OutKast. Can’t really go wrong with OutKast!
My #1 stand-by for times just like this: Hump de Bump!
She Wants to Move (Yes, yes she does.)
A little Swedish House Mafia never hurt anybody.
And now I gotta cut loose.
Here’s to shit getting a little Out of Control.
Because it’s been a bitch of a week.
Uptown Funk (me up)
Bounce Baby! (Bonus points for being local.)
I Wanna Dance with Somebody (I really do!)
Let’s start a Quiet Riot.
And last but certainly not least: Feel Right, y’all.
Alright, Peopleaneous! YOUR TURN!