You know what I hate?
I hate bitches who don’t know their place. Bitch gon’ try to throw me under the bus. What she has yet to figure out is I’m now driving that fucking bus. And she’s Target Numero Only. I was asked to advise my supervisor on a situation that has arisen. You see, apparently the company is hemorrhaging money (which is nothing new – but the source is new). And Queen Bitch is the primary suspect, only she’s doing what she always does: pointing fingers. She pointed fingers in both my direction and that of my former department. I was called into the meeting, and I stated clearly that this is the first I’ve heard of any issue (dudes, this issue is massive and jeopardizes our largest account…which would shut this subsidiary down, period). I explained exactly what the problem is and what needs to happen to fix it. Queen Bitched huffed and puffed, and guess what. Nobody’s fucking house blew down. But the air around us got suspiciously smelly. Next I’m called into my supervisor’s office privately, where he asks for my full analysis of the situation and what we should do to move forward. I didn’t even have time to be flattered, because I launched right into it. I don’t care anymore. I’m not here to placate Queen Bitch, and I’m certainly not interested in scratching anyone’s back or licking anyone’s ass. I carefully explained exactly why it is not in fact my former department’s fault, as it is QB’s responsibility to provide them with the information they need for the projects in question. When it looked like I was losing it, I brought out my secret weapon: an overstuffed folder full of the exact information QB used to provide to my former department. I had that shit because those jobs used to be my responsibility in that department. And because I strongly believe in good ole CYA (Cover Your Ass) in Corporate America, I still had all of it. So he’s shocked. “Queen….Queen Bitch did this? When you were in x department?” Yup. How else was I to know what the project consisted of? “B-b-b-but she says she’s never done anything of the sort.” *points to QB’s initials* She shoots. She scores.
Cunt.
Tomorrow should be entertaining. I really fucking hope that bitch steps up on me. I’m burning that bitch down.
You know what else I hate?
Motherfucking FedEx. Motherfucking FedEx put a heavyass box down against the porch today. Against it. Not on it. No no. It wasn’t on the porch. You know what it was on? My motherfucking twenty dollar azalea bush. You know, one of the ones I just fucking planted. Speaking of bitches that need burning down. Those motherfuckers are about to feel my wrath. Not that they’ll give a fuck. Still. I’m done being a doormat. I’m gonna practice telling motherfuckers off when they act like motherfuckers. Well guess what, I bet my mother has the herp. How do ya like me now, MOTHERfuckers?
You know what else I hate?
Motherfucking Comcast. I ditched AT&T for the same fucking reason I’m about to ditch your useless, lying ass. When your twatnose rep promises me something and you do the exact fucking opposite? Don’t act shocked when I ask for the number to your Retention Department. Heh. Didn’t think I knew about Retention Departments, did you? Think again, shit snorter. Where’s Ted Kaczynski when you need him? (Too soon for that kinda joke? Fuck you, I’m American. Apparently all I’m good for is getting thrown under buses and shooting people or blowing them up. Speaking of things I hate. Fucking douchecanoes.)
You know what else I hate?
That I forgot the rest of my list. There’s a lot to be said about making handwritten notes. Ahem, Ezekiel. Make fun of my handwritten lists. You little shit. So now I have something else to hate: my lack of post notes. Fucksticks.
Anyway. Yeah. Believe it or not, I’m in a pretty damn good mood. Now.
However. I Really Fucking Hope that rotted cuntwhore has the audacity to get in my face tomorrow. She will regret forgetting the last time we spoke, when I said, and I quote, “If you ever speak to me again, it should only be to apologize for what you’ve done. Otherwise, you keep my name out of your filthy mouth.” Oh yeah. That was a huge feat for Ms. Pushover. I finally allowed myself to stand up for myself, and that’s what came out.
Fuckyeah.
Bonus thing I don’t give a fuck about: editing. Fuck editing. I’m letting this bitch fly. I’m all hardcore and shit.
And I thought MY office is filled with a bunch of backstabbers…I hear ya, girl
LikeLiked by 1 person
Isn’t it just the worst? Grrr.
LikeLike
WOO! Way to go! Glad you were able to stand up for yourself both with the boss man and QB! 🙂 Looking forward to a post detailing the aftermath 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Supervisor told her there would be a follow-up meeting today………………………..she called in this morning. HAHAHA!
LikeLike
lol! Oh geez……
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lollolololololololololololdbdbdjdjdbdbsudhdjdndkxockfjsbsbshsyxycujcsjanagshfuuvkdmslaxihxjsbebskzbzzb!!!!!!!!
❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
😉 ❤
LikeLike
Awesome!!!!!!! I hate all that shit, too! Especially FedEx, those fuckers always leave my packages out in the rain when there’s a covered porch! 😡😡😡
LikeLiked by 1 person
UGH! I don’t understand it! GRRRRRRR.
LikeLike
Whew! That’s got to feel a shit-ton better to have that off your chest. Sonofabitch. Finger pointing, fucktard, corporate raiders twist my colon into pretzel braids and then act surprised when the shit explodes
LikeLiked by 3 people
AHAHAHA! And yes, yes it felt so much better!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
So, I’m getting a vibe that your upset with Comcast. I know, you’re blown away with my ability to read between the lines. I’m good at it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Damn! That’s impressive. Can you teach me?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can try, but it takes years of dedication.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wooh go girl! Let Queenie suffer…..
LikeLiked by 1 person
Super told her yesterday that we all need a follow-up meeting.
Guess who called in this morning? I cried laughing!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hope you scared the living shit out of QB. People like that need their behaviors listed on their employment records.~DM
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s just it. I’m not even remotely intimidating. Or at least………I never used to be. But last year, she pushed me well beyond my breaking point. And now? She knows I’m not gonna sit back and take her shit. I felt mean that I laughed so hard when she called in. Then I remembered that she’s done this to herself and has zero remorse. Ah well. I want a drink. Damnit.
LikeLike
You go, girl!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀
LikeLike
God you’re sexy as all hell when you’re on a roll.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Why thank you. Now if only someone within arm’s reach felt that way. HA! 😉
LikeLike
That was awesome! And a Beeker meme too? Too much awesome to handle. 😃
LikeLiked by 1 person
Woohoo! 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m 47 years old, but Beeker still makes me laugh. Not sure ill ever fully grow up…thank god! 😃
LikeLiked by 1 person
Don’t. Don’t ever “grow up.” I call it “riding up Troy’s bucket.” Major bonus points if you catch the ref. I’ll NEVER ride up Troy’s bucket! Those kinds of “adults” can go fuck themselves. With something sharp.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I never really been accused of being mature. Don’t want to start now. 😃
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like the sound of that!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh man!! This story with you and QB is juicy!!! I know you’ll come out on top. Looking forward to hearing about it!!😉
LikeLiked by 2 people
With her blood on my fist! Then I’ll make a Voodoo doll with it. Louisiana is good for something after all. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Gotta love lists. I hate just about everything and almost everybody. But even more I hate the corporate bullshit of who knows who, who gets promoted, who gets a raise so they can afford their rent AND food, and I have a special kind of hatred for people who sneak around looking for ways to make other people look bad so by comparison they look better. If they spent half that free time looking for ways to improve the company’s bottom line instead of smearing shit around, corporate America and all who toil in it would be better off.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ohmygosh, I want to high-five you and buy you a beer!
LikeLiked by 1 person
::high fives Steph::
LikeLiked by 1 person
Since she called in…go to her office and call dibs on the good office supplies. Y’know, since she won’t be needing ’em after the meeting. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
I came sooooo close to going in and just rearranging all her shit. I worried I’d get busted. 😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are SOOOO badass Stephie 🙂
I heartily approve of your views and possible methods of ending your most hated adversary 😉
P.S, here’s hoping the boss finally see’s she is a total dick and HAS to go….!
Bon Chance mes amis 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Heh. He’s not gonna do anything about her. He’s a nice guy. A really nice guy. But he’s an absolutely terrible supervisor. Oh well. With just a bit of luck, it won’t be my problem much longer. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hope not 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person