[DAY 9] 30-Day Song Challenge (and buttstuff)

I’m feeling good today, great considering the circumstances. I have to leave in two hours to head on in for a colonoscopy and endoscopy. The prep this time was so much easier than the first time I went through this. I guess it’s been about seven years now. Geez. A lot has changed in my life between 35 and 42 (the meaning of life, the universe, and everything). Excepting the need for probing. I’m guessing that will never change.

I may go further into some things that have been going on at a later date, but for now, I will say this. If you have colonoscopy prep in your near future, I have some unsolicited advice for you: For the 2-3 days leading up to the prep day, alter your diet to things such as protein shakes, fruits, and soft foods such as mashed potatoes. No beverages aside from water and clear liquids. No fast food. No junk food. No fried/fatty stuff. (Believe me, I fully comprehend what a tall order that is.) Do all of that prior to your prep day, and things may just go much better for you as they have for me. The first time I went through this, my diet was abominable. I can imagine I was full of fast food and soda and sweets prior to the prep day. And when I say that day was a nightmare I’ve been dreading reliving, it’s a massive understatement. This is obviously never going to be a pleasant experience, but it is certainly possible to lessen the extreme pain and discomfort of it. This time around, I’ve had no pain aside from temporary bloating because of the requisite consumption of excess fluids. But that passes quickly if you’ve prepared your body in advance. So clear the runway, and things will fly more smoothly. (You’re welcome for that awful visual comparison.)

Now, let’s get to some music, shall we?

Day 9: A Song That Makes You Happy

Today’s theme is a pleasant one, as is the epic sleep I’m sure to have post-anesthesia this evening. Seriously looking forward to that! So! A song that makes you happy. Let’s infuse some cheer and optimism in this bitch!

This one is difficult. Not because I can’t think of one, but because there are so. fucking. many. I mean this first one is a no-brainer. It’s the damn name of the song, and if it doesn’t at least brighten your mood to some teeny tiny degree, you probably need to be on stronger meds than I am. Not that you have to like it, mind you. But it’s so damn … happy.

Another happy song with a similar vibe:

Up next, because we all need Prince in our lives:

For a completely different sound and musical vibe but similar impact, the (almost) always happy-making Bill Withers:

I’m gonna end today’s Happy theme with Lizzo, because damn if that strong woman doesn’t make me happy. And I’m feelin’ good as hell.

What songs spark your happy?

Last of the Butt Stuff

Seriously. I hope to never talk about this again. Okay? Okay.

You know that horrible shit they make you drink? Colyte. It’s called Colyte, though apparently some people take different stuff. Anyway. It’s pure Devil Juice. It starts out so deceptive. I dumped lemonade in it, shook it up and got it super cold. The first glass tasted like, “What the fuck is everyone’s problem? This isn’t so bad!” It was salty lemonade. Granted, it wasn’t tasty, but it wasn’t as horrible as everyone made it out to be. The second glass tasted pretty much the same. The third glass?

The third glass tasted like, “Oh My Fuck, I will never get through this deceptive Devil Juice.”

By the last three glasses of the night, it was coming back up. And not from the right end. I couldn’t finish it when I got up to do so at 3:00 AM. I tried. I tried my best. But when it started coming back up, I said fuck it. (That’s what the last glass tasted like: “Fuck this shit.”) They can either do the procedure or they can’t. There’s little use in drinking it if I’m only gonna puke it up.

The rest of it? I’m not gonna go into details. Let’s just leave it at this: I wish there was a healthy option to never shit again in my life.

~

Fast forward to 5:00 AM. I got there on time, but that Colyte wasn’t finished with me yet. Oh no. I don’t understand why they make you drink it all the way up to procedure time (nearly so). I feel like I could have taken care of things a lot sooner and felt a lot better. Oh well.

Anyway.

Let’s skip the unsavory bits and get to the results: no visible signs of cancer, though he did take tissue samples to send to the lab. I’m supposed to see him in 2-4 weeks. (Which will be my first time meeting him. I’m assuming he’s met me by now…) I’m told there was severe inflammation and lots of ulcers. I’m also told that I’m not allowed to take NSAIDs anymore, which I have grossly abused because of chronic headache and migraine problems. Time to hold my GP’s feet to the fire on that.

So yes. Overall really good news. My only concern now, really, is finding a better way to manage my headaches. AND. Take better care of my nutritional health. Much better care.

No cancer, dudes. No. Fucking. Cancer. Not even any polyps.

Boogie.

And that’s the last of the butt stuff. I promise I’m at least as sick of talking about it as you are of seeing it in your feeds!